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Long before ”the game’

I remember I was so young at the time, and long before ”the game” existed and I was chatting around with many girls, and trying to really hit it up with a stunner. I met a bad girl, who F’d me all over, because what happened is we acknowledged our love to each other and then the weekend following valentines day, she got raped by someone she used to be in love with. Now, she told me the story and we were both virgins at the time, and now she told me it in a way that was so explicit and in the way patronizing me for my virginity, but here’s the deal: she was both responsible and not responsible, she could have not cheated on me cause she got raped, but she was the one who had went upstairs to the private room with him, so I could not judge her as a bad girl, and I had sympathy for her for her ordeal, and I could not figure out which feelings to choose, and confused by my own feelings about her, and also how she felt cause she was abused, in the sense that both are very confusing feelings and made me think so much over it, and after years came into grip with it embraced it and moved on. So it’s your choice, would you like to be f’d over and be miserable and risk your mental health of bouts of depression until you get it, and hold yourself responsible for your actions, or do you want to learn from others and lead a great life full of pleasure and excitement. I think you can reach enlightenment with doing the work without actually having something that gets you into a bad scene and then you tend to go into self-discovery mode, cause who knows you may choose the easier path and kill yourself, as many have done before due to their bad decisions and then accept responsibility of their actions too late and not tell themselves what can I learn from this, but rather, what should I do to end this. Life is the most valuable asset we have, so let’s invest in ourselves so we can make the world a better place and leave it better than we found it.

For the first quote: Usually when people become emotionally traumatized they disconnect from reality and then start thinking about it, and how it affected them, it is part of a self defense mechanism, that could be immature, called intellectualization. I held it for myself, and over the years started to share the incident and get it relieved, then I realized acceptance to it is the key, just accept it for what it is, and embrace it. There is a lot going on to trauma that we came to understand in modern psychology, like Dr. Paul Dobransky, spoke how trauma actually break boundaries, and I was very confident at that time before this trauma happened, I could go talk to anyone, be it a man or a woman and just chat with them, but then this tragedy occurred, and kinda shifted my focus from external to internal to the wealth of the world inside of me, that I was unaware of it at all. That is kinda self-discovery, when you see in yourself and try to understand the hidden mechanism behind you, strangely enough, such mechanisms are shared, so once you do your work, you could help others with their work too. It is often thought that richness and wealth also are internal processes, and that many people became rich in the inside before it materialized..

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